Five Horizons

Admiral:
This is Admiral Biatch to base camp,
it seems the stormtroopers have gone on strike
and I have no experience with this type of shit.
Who should I call for help?

Vader:
It's the V to the A to the DER (Vader!)
Reconstructin 'the Death Star!
With my slick suede suit that's black like tar,
Fucking you up no matter who you are!

Palpatine:
Tell the motherfuckers' bout the sheer Dark Side!
Pull up on your planet, Death Star drive-by!
And we'll beat the Rebels' cause is not their skills shit!

Vader:
And in my TIE Fighter, Zig-zags stay lit!

Yoda:
Oh, shit! Yoda on the scene,
900 year Fiend smoking Dagobah green!
Bitches on my tip, like Lando on liquor.

Lando:
Ah, you're just jealous' cause my black dick's thick.

Chewbacca:
WOOKIE yell * *

Lando:
I! Tell 'em Chewie, last night
I had Leia all drunk wanting to do me.

Luke:
Shut the fuck up man! Leia's my sister!
The only thing you're getting is a beat-off blister.

Ben Kenobi:
Luke! Use the force before
intercourse, but Luke!
Do not forget! Bitches is not nothing but hospital and tricks!

(Ohh!)

Luke:
Obi-Wan, I'm the top gun! (Top Gun)
The chosen one, both Hotter Than Suns!
Vader is not shit, his head's cut up and split!
He's slower than the first Pentium chip!

(Dark Side!)
Vader:
The one who brings remorse to this fucking universe.

(Rebels!)
Luke:
You know we'll fucking win, 'cause we'll fight to the end!

(Dark Side!)
Palpatine:
I can feel the anger dwelling within you!

(Rebels!)
Yoda:
You also feel Vader's dick in you. BIATCH!

* Incoherent Huttese Jabba rap *

Han Solo:
Jabba, you is not nothing but a fat-ass slug!
Fake gold chains? You sorry-ass thug!
Sittin 'in your palace with your blue-headed whore,
trap door to the Rancor. * sound of someone falling *

C3PO:
Oh, my, goodness gracious me!
I'ma gay man's golden fantasy!
Programmed for homo-ecstasy,
ten million forms of gay positioning.
For my golden shower, you must pay a fee,
but R2-D2 gives it up for free. * R2-d2 squeaks *
R2-D2, watch your language!
Always having sex with robotic strangers!

Jar Jar Binks:
Meese like to drink and smoke all night!
Meese like to fight and I Fucka wife.
Mees not care 'cause Meese so dumb.
Meese will fuck you with my tongue.
Youse wants to cause Mees Mees wants some.
Youse wants to cause Mees Mees wants some.
Youse wants to cause Mees Mees wants some.
Mees wants some cause Meese want to cum!